Hey you! Yeah, we are talking to you right there. Do you want to get away? Are you tired of “staycations” every other weekend? Do you miss the exciting thrill of imminent death? Then do we have the solution for you: Visit the beautiful and luxurious Skull Island! Known for its feisty locals and blood stained beaches, we assure you that you will never run out of things to do.
Tucked away from the hustle and bustle of civilization, Skull Island is no New York City. It gets rid of the concrete but keeps the jungle with relaxing hikes, panoramic views, and life-threatening demon creatures.
From professional wrestling fans to vintage video game addicts, the Island has everything for everyone! We promise you will not get bored here, guaranteed!
Don’t even get us started on the cuisine! We have world renowned chefs at your disposal twenty-four hours a day. Skull Island has fast food, fine dining, and everything in between. For just a small hint, the King Kong Special features adult back ribs, mashed potato and brain, and human noodle soup.
Disclaimer: Vegetarian options are available upon request.
Believe it or not, Skull Island is home to many a cinephile. From the family-friendly Lord of the Rings to the cult classic Apocalypse Now, we can accommodate your every cinematic need with weekly showings, collectable memorabilia, and more.
Do you want to take the Island with you into space? There is a Star Wars Club on every corner.
Are you a fan of killer behemoths, both reptilian and mammalian? You can get the entire Jurassic Park series on Blu-ray at the Skull Island gift shop.
Concerned about safety? There is no need to worry because every ticket to Skull Island comes with a coffin and pre-written will at no extra cost! If you are feeling real cocky and do not value your own life at all, you can even try out our helpful How to Kill Monsters Guide 101.
Can’t make it all the way to Skull Island? That is alright, we completely understand. But you can still consider our Shanghai location! It features all the same terrifying amenities at the same convenient cost (AKA your life).
If you are still having doubts, just talk to longtime resident and investor, Mr. Donkey Kong. Ask him what he likes most about the Island and why he has been involved for so long. Fun fact: Mr. Kong is actually a distant relative of the Island’s founder! Now you can say you know a celebrity.
We hope you take our offer into careful consideration. But you better make up your mind soon, the Island is a hot destination and reservations are filling up fast! Be one of the first to visit Skull Island and bring with you one of these trendy t-shirts. Happy travels!