22 T-Shirts to Offend Your Family This Holiday Season

by on Oct 27, 2017

It’s hard to believe, but another holiday season is about to begin.

For the upcoming family festivities, you could dress in a nice shirt and tie or a turtleneck sweater or something. Or say the hell with that… and wear a T-shirt. It’s comfortable, and you may be able to get a message across, too.

If you’re like me, any long holiday gathering with family you’re not particularly fond of will put you on the edge. You’ll start ready to tell them all to:

But by the end, you’re ready to do this:

Being it’s the holidays, you may be in better spirits than usual, so your sneakiness may be a little kinder. Or is that more kind?

Or simply try to nip the know-it-all relative in the bud.

You can test if they’re really paying attention with some overtly subtle t-shirts.

Especially if they’re ones that make Aunt Mildred gasp and say: “That’s filthy!”

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That's What She Said Quote

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Eat Me T-Shirt

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Funny, offensive Sooty,Sweep and Sue

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Try not to laugh too loud when Uncle Fred says: “Yeah, I can beat Dick’s Meat!”

And they may have no idea how to react to this one:

The ladies can be crude while making a political statement, too. But grandma will find it cute.

My favorite is to wear shirts that are somewhat offensive and gross, but not overtly. Something that will have the family scratching their heads, wanting to say something, but not quite knowing what to say. Except may: “What’s that on your shirt?”

There’s nothing like potty humor to keep the family looking away from you when they ask you to pass the yams.

One of the biggest family button pushers is religion. Not that there’s anything wrong with being religious, but most of us have family members who use this time of year as their pulpit. And they have absolutely no sense of humor when it comes to their choice of deity. If you’re looking to offend this holiday season, overly religious relatives are the easiest targets.

Holy Shit T-Shirt

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Don’t forget to taunt them with scientific facts.

Though there’s more open-mindedness when it comes to the LGBTQ community, most families have a few relatives who still find the subject of being gay a battleground. You can fire the first missile.

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IM NOT GAY But $20 is $20.

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Big Gay Vegan

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Or just get all the social issues out on one shirt:

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Stronger Together

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With marijuana being legalized in many states, lots of older relatives think it’s the end of the world. Tell them they need to lighten up. Or light up.

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Go Green – Legalize Marijuana

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D.A.R.E. – Drugs Are Really Excellent

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Even without t-shirts, politics are sure to be the cause of many fights and offenses this holiday season more than ever before. You could fight them on both sides, but maybe, in the case of politics, standing middle ground is even more aggravating than being polarized.

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Noam Chomsky Quote Free Speech Freedom

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Have you figured how to offend the relatives you dislike most? Or perhaps you’d rather just be your usual sarcastic self than offensive. If so, then check out 22 T-Shirts for When I’m Feeling Sarcastic.

Written by

I am an award-winning playwright/novelist/screenwriter/blogger. I enjoy comics (Batman, Fantastic Four, X-Men), movies, music (Gothic, Industrial, 80s), reading and yoga.

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